Back to the Blogosphere

Many months back I made a decision to stop blogging. Most likely the reason was my undisciplined nature, resulting in too many gaps and silences as my posts became farther and farther apart and my few visitors walked away in frustration. But the fact is, I lost my faith in blogging. As much as I loved it’s freedom, I sometimes became tired of its anarchy; and to the extent I appreciated its anonymity, I often had serious misgivings about the ghostly existence of blogs and bloggers. Sometimes my cyber journey seemed to echo the Beatles’ (more accurately, George Harrison’s) line: “the farther one travels, the less one knows.”

I became disillusioned. I began to see my devoted browsing, reading, writing, commenting, updating and linking in the blogosphere as futile efforts, or silly antics in a parallel universe inhabited by a bunch of freaks. The strange creatures of this realm labour in the dark shadows, hiding beneath pseudonyms as they slip in and out of the labyrinths of the intractable web. I once believed like them, perhaps foolishly, that we were members of an emerging and important community; that we really made a difference; that we were the future; and that what we did was the greatest affirmation of freedom. But I came to see that I was wrong.

Following from human nature, people can be very nasty in person, but the blogoshpere seems to makes them nastier. And unlike real life, it’s much harder to avoid such idiots in cyberspace. I had some unpleasant and sometimes bruising “debates” (or clashes) with unsavory characters (for example during the war in Lebanon last year). Many such people I beleive are simply evil, incarnations of dogmas, or may be very proud ignoramuses. Moreover, the sheer anarchy of the medium finally got to me and I just detested the badly-written blogs, the blogs that function as cheap propaganda podiums, the blogs that see itself as pundits or caretakers, the blogs that will do anything to get publicity and traffic, the blogs that have no sense of humor, the blogs that are dominated by one single issue, and the blogs that are simply tasteless extensions of other media.

I became sarcastic, bitter, and alienated, and drifted away from the blogging scene. I posted less and less, rotating between feelings of guilt, ambivalence and relief. I almost stopped posting altogether and limited my activity to comments on the community blog (and rarely on individual blogs). Eventually this came to an end too. May be I was truly burned out; may be I just needed a break; but I was never a very productive blogger to start with; so may be there is some truth to my doubts and how I felt about the whole thing.

Months later, I’m back in the world of anonymous shadows and virtual dialogue, armed with a new mask and hopefully more heart and faith. I will give it another chance; the bug is too powerful to ignore. During my period of quitting I found out that it’s possible for me to live without blogging; but I also found that I also missed it and that it can add some richness (or creative misery) to my life. I still have grave doubts about my return; whether it’s the right decision or not; if it’s just another distraction to what is already a very busy life; or if it’s somehow the need for a voice and action in a city where public and open forums are hard to come by. But, questions aside, I did return.

Yet some of the things I saw as I started reading and commenting again on the community forum are, to say the least, not very encouraging. Even as I write this post, I find myself feeling like a Don Quixote, pursuing fantasy homelands and fighting imaginary giants and shadows. But I already promised myself that this blog should not have the grim fate of the three I tried to nurture before, only to see them end up in the vast graveyard of the blogoshpere. In the last few days, I thought more than once that I came close to that point. I didn’t even check my new blog for days; then I did today and found two positive comments on my first welcoming post; and that sure helped stir this post; thank you black feline and ibn battuta.

I will try to keep this thing alive; perhaps posting less than I used to, but doing that on a semi-regular basis. I will start posting within the next few on a number of related topics inspired by the long and occasionally acrimonious thread generated by stained’s post on the uaecommunity blog on Islamic Nation (now stands at 74 comments). I hope to see you here again; and with your feedback (and that of others) to have some fun and inspiration writing, exchanging information, and debating all sorts of issues as we continue our journeys in our respective cyberspaces. Peace to you all.